If there’s one thing to be learned from all the great literature and poetry it’s that there’s someone out there for everybody. But some people have it easier than others. And this has a lot to do with personality traits. Because extroverted, open people tend to be more accepting of love.
Here are 10 reasons why deep thinkers have such a difficult time falling in love.
Anyone will tell you that the worst way to go about relationships is to have a lot of preconceived ideals and expectations. Deep thinkers live and breathe idealism, spending most of their time in their own heads. So naturally, no one ever compares to the ideal partner they have conjured up inside their minds. And thus they have a hard time falling in love.
Since they spend a lot of time thinking, deep thinkers become natural skeptics. They never take anything at face value. And this includes declarations of love. Analyzing the world allows them to avoid repeating other people’s mistakes but it also makes them wary of emotional attachment. How can you fall in love when you know it is rarely enough?
3. Head over Heart
There is a constant debate over how far the head and heart should be allowed to influence our decisions. And while ‘head over heart’ might be the smarter choice in the long term, it is those who follow their hearts who have a greater chance of falling in love. Deep thinkers, who always think things through, analyzing their deepest emotions before acting, have a harder time falling in love.
4. Value Independence
Independent, ambitious and objective – these are qualities natural to deep thinkers. While these characteristics ensure professional success, they hinder thinkers in the love department. Because they go after their goals, attacking them head first. This independent nature makes it harder for them to compromise in a relationship.
5. Self Awareness
One amazing quality of deep thinkers is their level of self-awareness. These are people who understand their own weaknesses and shortcomings. But this awareness can be a double-edged sword. Because deep thinkers often become insecure as a result of their perceived faults. And being unable to open up in a relationship always leads to heartbreak.
6. Defense Mechanism
Additionally, when deep thinkers feel insecure about some aspect of their personalities they deflect and develop defense mechanisms. For example, humor or sarcasm. This almost always results in them being more closed off than other people. Making it harder for them to fall in love and develop lasting emotional bonds with people.
7. Emotionally Repressed
Deep thinkers are logical people. They don’t like basing their decisions over fickle things like emotions. Instead, they prefer facts and hard data. So even if they do feel attracted to someone these desires are not acted upon. Instead, they analyze the personalities and habits of the people around them. Choosing to form relationships based on things like mutual interests and complementary personalities.
8. High Standards
Deep thinkers analyze all aspects of their lives. This includes their love lives. So chances are they know exactly what they want from a partner. This creates a list of high standards any future romantic partners are forced to live up to. And if they fall short of the mark then they may be replaced. As a result, deep thinkers find it very difficult to find love.
9. Natural Hesitation
Deep thinkers have natural hesitation. The idea of being emotionally vulnerable is so stressful to them that they choose to stay alone. Simply because they do not want to depend on anyone else. Or become weaker versions of themselves.
With a lot of thinking comes a lot of fear. Fear of abandonment, fear of vulnerability, fear of rejection – when you spend so much time thinking of everything that can go wrong just the idea of commitment can give you anxiety.