Perspecticide is a type of emotional abuse within a relationship when one partner is so controlling over the other, that the other one loses their grasp on the truth and their sense of self. In the case of perspecticide, a partner controls everything within the relationship and tells the victim what to think and believe. So much so that they’re unsure what is and isn’t true anymore. The abuser defines what love is and constantly monitors the partner.
This level of control can have a serious impact on your mental health. Victims are likely to be prone to experiences of negative urgency, which is an intolerance of negative emotional states. Agreeing with a controlling individual can relieve these negative emotions, and can create a negative cycle of control and dependence. As such, victims tend to go along with the controlling actions of their partner because it seems like the easier route. However, wider effects are hard to pinpoint, as only a little research has been done on the subject so far.
If you want to know that if you’re a victim of perspecticide, look for these 6 symptoms in your partner:
Makes you doubt your self-worth
No matter how talented you are or what your potential is, the abuser would never appreciate the victim’s abilities. Instead, they would mock them and try to suppress them on regular basis. They would try their level best to make the victim believe that they are useless. Furthermore, they would frequently emotionally blackmail the victim and use the guilt machine to shoot their feelings down.
Erasing a Person’s Thoughts, Feelings, and Perspectives
In this case, the abuser tries to control the mind of the victim. They have methods and strategies through which they can achieve this control. They disregard victim’s feelings and ignore their views and opinions. Furthermore, they disturb everyday routine of the victims. This helps the abuser by mentally upsetting the victim, so they are able to control and manipulate the victims however they want.
Isolating the victims from family and friends
When the predators attack their prey, they separate the target from the herd. This is exactly what the abusers do to their partners. They would cut them off from the people they socialize with. Once they are out of touch with the people they used to socialize with, they become vulnerable. That makes it easier for the abuser to conquer the mind of the victim.
The abuser doesn’t only try to manage and control the larger aspects of the victim’s life, they prefer to overpower every single action of their partner. Every day doing such as sleeping, eating, bathing, and dressing are just some of the things the abuser would like to manage. When victims are controlled on such a large extent, they lose their identity and become slaves to the abuser.
Defining what you are
Once the abusers have taken control of their partner’s life, they tell them who they are and what their abilities are. They guide them away from their true abilities and make them believe in some false sense of their personality. For example, they will tell their partner that they are slow, weak, ugly, careless, dumb and a big source of disappointment for them. This results in shattered self-esteem.
Defining Love and setting terms for the relationship
The abusive partners have their own way of defining everything, especially love. They tell their partners what love is according to their own thinking. Furthermore, they define the terms and conditions of the relationships. If the victim abides by the rules, the abusers appreciate them. But if the victim does otherwise, the abusers scold the victims and make them realize that they have no say in the relationship.