Life is a cocktail of emotions. Sometimes we are filled with bliss. At other times, pain steps in to saturate us.
Painful emotions are a part of life. They’re the yin to the yang of happiness, each couldn’t have existed without the other.
Do you remember the lessons taught in college or your school about how to deal with such emotions? Me neither, because it never happened. The lack of necessary knowledge and practice to cope with pain in adulthood leads many of us down a dark path filled with drugs, alcohol and other forms of poisonous distractions.
The Importance of Coping
Emotional pain is as real as physical pain and sometimes is even greater as it continues to haunt us through our lives. Coping with these negative emotions requires artistry to some extent. It is not an exact science. In order to experience a happy life, one needs to learn how to deal with pain and negative emotions. This is just as important as anything else you’ll learn in life.
Stop Running and Start Embracing
Pain is a result of complex molecular reactions in our brain telling us to stop from whatever we are doing because it’s hurting us.
This mechanism presents itself as a “run” signal, which is very useful since nobody wants to feel pain when they can easily get away from it. If you put your hand on a hot stove, you’ll immediately lift it away, no? Or if you prick yourself on a nail or a needle, you’ll stop whatever you’re doing and get away from the spot.
Denial-the Worst Demon
This develops a habit of running away from pain. That is the worst thing you can do with emotions. Emotional pain doesn’t work like physical pain. Keep denying it, it will build up to make you realize it’s still there.
An interesting and fitting analogy to emotional pain would be an open wound. Just imagine that you suffer an open wound and have to clean it with antiseptics. You know it’s going to sting like hell, but you still do it.
The reason is simple. It’s because you know that if left as it is, the wound will probably get infected and get much worse. Similar is the case with emotional pain.
Like a wound, give the time and the right kind of attention, emotional pain will heal too.
Some emotional scars won’t fade and will stay with you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t move on from those. Managing it must be learned as it will help to move on, if not totally cure you of it.
Remember I mentioned “the right kind of attention” previously? The right kind of attention means being your own best friend, loving your own company and yourself.
The problem is that usually, we exhibit a totally opposite response when staring in the eyes of pain.
Instead of running away from the demons of pain, or waging an all-out war against them, get towards a more diplomatic solution. The idea is to take it slowly and dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.
Humans can’t exist independently of their emotions. Your emotions are what makes you. So if you’re running away from your pain or fighting a war against them, remember, they’re you. You are doing that to yourself.
You need to be considerate and compassionate towards yourself first in order to defeat the pain. Instead of denying your emotions or adding fire to the fuel, take some time to just be alone. Enjoy a sunset, watch the moon on a quiet night, whatever floats your boat.
Keep in mind that it will take time. You won’t go to bed filled to the brink with emotional turbulence and wake up all happy and gay. But given the time and the acceptance, the pain will subside.
Happiness and Sadness- Experiences of Life
Like I said, life is a cocktail of emotions. emotions range on the spectrum from utter bliss to completely bleak moroseness.
It is necessary to realize that one cannot experience only one of these things without the presence of the other.
Once you realize this and learn to cope with, and manage emotional pain, you will live your life to the fullest while learning from every experience life throws at you, whether it be good times or bad ones.
The Moment of Realization
There is no person alive that hasn’t had bad experiences in life. We all go through pain at some point or another in our lives. The realization of this gives a kind of support that people have survived this, you can too.
So, instead of constantly running after the achievement of happiness, go with the stream of life. Accept what it throws at you and make the best of it.
In order to learn to cope and manage with pain, just be kind to yourself and give yourself time. Sooner or later, it will happen, trust me. You WILL overcome it.